Choked

The cares and responsibilities of life can be draining. As I grow older, the responsibilities seem to loom larger each day. For every thing I try to give up, I immediately replace it with something else. Gone are the carefree days when I sat around complaining about being bored. I almost don’t remember what it feels like to be bored. Something always needs to be done. Another commitment always waits in the wings. Even when I sit down at the end of the day to relax, I’m purposely ignoring something else that should be done.

I honestly thought I was doing a decent job of prioritizing the most important tasks while postponing the things that could be done later. However, I have slowly begun to realize that I am not giving the proper priority to the one who should have top priority in my life. I’m not exactly sure how or when it happened, but the reality is that it did.

I was reading a story recently that Jesus told to a group of people who had gathered to hear him speak. He talked about a farmer who went out to sow his seed. Some of the seed fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Some seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop. The disciples later asked Jesus to explain the meaning behind the story. He told them that the seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and the devil comes and takes the word from their hearts so they may not believe and be saved. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way, they are choked by life’s worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature. The seed on good soil represents those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

It’s not the first time that I’ve read the parable, but this time, the seed that fell among the thorns stood out to me. It was me. As hard as it was to admit, I have let the worries, riches, and pleasures of the world choke my development with God. My alone time with Him has dwindled in recent years as I’ve become busy with other things. I’m not doing anything that you would consider wrong, but I’m not fully immersing myself in His presence either. I’m not keeping up with my commitment to daily prayer, scripture readings, and quality time with God, and that needs to change. I must get back to prioritizing Him above the cares of life, above the time I selfishly spend at the end of the day, and above my other responsibilities.

Our pastors have been speaking recently about taking time each morning and evening to talk to God and read His word. I know it won’t be easy to get back into this daily habit, but I’m determined to do it. I’m sure my flesh will fight me every step of the way, but nothing good comes without a fight. I want to continue to grow in God. I want to “produce a good crop.” None of that comes without sacrifice or discipline.

It’s time to turn off the noise, push the worldly responsibilities to the side for a few minutes, and focus on God. I know I won’t regret it. It will make me stronger. It will help me mature. It will make me less selfish. Everything else can wait. It’s the best thing I can do with my time, and it starts now. I’m tired of being choked.