From the Inside Out

Finding a doctor can be a daunting task, filled with uncertainty and frustration. You can ask friends for recommendations, but there’s no guarantee that just because your friend likes a doctor, you will too. What if your personalities don’t mesh? What if you prefer a different bedside manner? The only way to really know a doctor is to meet the candidate in person, to try him or her out.

Finding a doctor can be like dating, or more accurately, a blind date. The problem is that, unlike a blind date, it’s much harder to quit seeing your doctor if the “first date” doesn’t go well. Relationships with doctors can be long term and difficult to end. I recently found myself in this situation. I had been referred to a doctor by my primary care physician. He was an excellent doctor, but I never truly felt comfortable with the care he gave me. I went on an extensive search for a new doctor, scouring websites and reading countless reviews. It wasn’t easy, and it took a great deal of time. Still, I wasn’t sure until our first “date” if she was going to be right for me. Luckily, she was, but that’s not always the case.

Most people don’t have the luxury of going “shopping” for doctors. It’s time consuming and expensive. Enter the solution. Texas Health Presbyterian Flower Mound is offering an innovative approach to finding a doctor. They are hosting a series of Doc Shops, where patients can meet face-to-face with doctors, outside of their offices, to find one that meets their needs. It’s like speed dating — for doctors! You get five minutes with each doctor to learn more about their practice, attitude, and personality. When the buzzer goes off, you move on to the next doctor. Wow, what a novel concept! I hope it catches on at other “Presby” hospitals.

The next Doc Shop is scheduled on April 14 in Flower Mound. To learn more, check out their website here.

Is your job killing you? If you work in an office and sit for more than six hours per day, it might be. According to a recent study by the American Cancer Society, people who sit for 6+ hours per day are 18 percent more likely to die than those who sit less than three hours per day.

I’ve heard that sitting for long periods of time can be bad for you, but at the same time, I have heard that exercise can help combat it. Apparently, that’s not 100 percent true. The study suggests that being stuck at your desk for hours can increase the risk of death despite the time you spend in the gym. The key to success may be getting up periodically and moving your body throughout the day. This supplements the 30-45 minutes you may spend at the gym, and although time in the gym doesn’t completely make up for the long hours of sitting at your desk, the death association is greater for those who do not exercise at all. Bottom line, exercise helps, but it doesn’t completely stave off long periods of sustained inactivity.

Those who sit for a long time without breaks are strongly encourage to take frequent walking breaks. A few minutes climbing the stairs can also help reduce the risk of heart disease. Reducing your stress is another key factor. The American Heart Association claims that the strain of work puts women at a 40 percent higher risk of heart disease, especially for those who are in jobs with “high demand and little control.” Cardiologist Dr. Sreenivas Gudimetla states, “The high-paced environment, the expectations, the deadlines, the things you have to meet in order to stay in your job, I think, creates a high level of stress that can indirectly lead to the development of heart disease.” He recommends that people make up for it by getting lots of exercise, scheduling regular checkups, knowing their numbers (cholesterol, blood pressure) and testing for their risk of diabetes.

Unfortunately, my family has a long history of diabetes, and my father suffered a stroke last year due to a blocked artery. This means I have a very high risk of also developing heart disease and diabetes without even considering the stress and the many hours I spend behind a desk. I’m a prime candidate for problems whether I like it or not. I find it a little scary, intimidating at the least. But knowledge is power, and heart disease can often be prevented with the right course of action.

The Mayo Clinic recommends five heart-healthy tips to start living a more risk-free lifestyle.

1. Don’t smoke or use tobacco: I think that by now we all know smoking kills. It’s pretty obvious; no further explanation needed.
2. Exercise for 30-60 minutes on most days of the week: Physical activity helps you control your weight and can reduce your chances of developing other conditions that may put a strain on your heart, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. It also reduces stress, which can be a factor in heart disease.
3. Eat a heart-healthy diet: A special diet called the Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) can help protect your heart. This diet includes foods that are (1) low in fat, cholesterol and salt and (2) rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat dairy products.
4. Maintain a healthy weight: Excess weight leads to conditions that increase your chances of heart disease — high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Check your BMI to make sure your weight is healthy.
5. Get regular health screenings: Schedule time with your doctor to check your numbers. This is the best way to predict what is secretly happening inside your body and identify early warning signs.

I’m doing a good job in 2-3 of the 5 tips, but I need to do a better job of exercising regularly/taking breaks throughout the day, and I need to watch my diet more carefully. I think it’s also time to schedule a check-up with my doctor. Hmm, where did I put her number?

I’ve often joked that my job was killing me, but I didn’t think it was really true. It’s now time to make sure it doesn’t!

It’s been almost 5 months since our lives were turned upside down by a stroke. Oh, how I’ve learned to despise that word. I had no idea how many people (young and old) experience strokes and how devastating they can be. I guess you can never fully comprehend something until it happens to you.

Since my father’s stroke, I’ve had numerous friends whose loved ones have also experienced strokes. Sadly, some were worse, but many weren’t as severe — for which I am thankful. A massive stroke is a special kind of hell that traps sufferers in their own bodies until the brain heals itself…if the brain heals itself.

My Dad is making progress, but it continues to be painfully slow. I think the worst part is that he still cannot communicate. That has to be the single most frustrating experience for all of us, especially him. The therapists equate it to being in a foreign country where no one speaks your language. At times, he can’t understand us, and we can’t understand him. Just imagine how difficult and lonely it would be if no one understood what you were saying for five months.

Yes, we’re learning how to overcome it, and he understands more of what we’re saying every day. Unfortunately, we don’t understand much of what he says. However, words (and some phrases) are beginning to come. They pop out randomly. He doesn’t have control over it, but it’s better than nothing. It’s fantastic when he opens his mouth and utters a word or a phrase that’s intelligible. I pray that his speech will continue to improve until one day he no longer has to struggle to communicate.

Since my father’s stroke, I’ve met a few people who have conquered their strokes. In fact, I recently met a man who experienced a massive stroke (including paralysis and the loss of communication skills) like my father. I had no idea. His speech was perfect, and he was participating in a 32-mile cycling event. I love hearing stories from those who have regained their lives after a 1-2 year battle. It’s encouraging.

I pray for the same experience with my father. If anyone can do it, he can. But, it doesn’t mean that I don’t battle with my doubts. I have those internal struggles just like everyone else. I guess that’s normal. No one can say with any certainty what the future will hold. God promises that He will never forsake us, but He doesn’t guarantee that our lives will always be rosy. Sometimes He heals, and sometimes He doesn’t. It reminds me of an old song we used to sing:

I don’t know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from it’s sunshine,
For it’s skies may turn to gray.
I don’t worry o’er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I’ll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I may not understand it, but I’m not alone. God knows exactly where I am and what I’m going through. He gives me strength. He gives me comfort. And, He holds my hand.

It’s been four months since my dad experienced a massive stroke. I’d like to say that things are back to normal, but real life isn’t a fairytale. Sometimes you have to walk through hell before you can reach heaven. Right now, we’re in the “hell” part of the journey. I’m still hoping for a happy ending, but we’re not quite there yet.

I feel like a broken record every time someone asks about my father. I reply that progress is slow. It’s the truth. Honestly, I think most people really want to hear some type of quick-fix miracle recovery story. They aren’t too interested in hearing the hard truth, the stressful, heart-breaking saga that continues to drag on for months or sometimes years. The reality is that you can’t just bounce back from a massive brain injury, no matter how much you want it to happen. My father is fighting with every fiber in his body to recover, but his life–and my mom’s life–are on pause right now. It’s a weird state of limbo, not knowing when or if it will end. I know it’s terribly frustrating not only for us, but also for him — most of all for him.

The good news is that he has been making progress in outpatient therapy. Recently, I reminded my Dad that he couldn’t move his right leg. It’s been paralyzed since the stroke. He grabbed his right leg immediately with his left hand –to show me that he could use his hand to lift it. I acknowledged that he could move it using his left arm, but he couldn’t lift it unaided. I placed his left hand to the side and asked him to raise his right leg. He looked at me and promptly lifted it two inches off the floor! I was flabbergasted. With a look of shock on my face, I glanced at my Mom and asked if she’d ever seen him do that before. The look on her face displayed her answer before she gave an audible reply. It was the first time since the stroke that he had moved his leg on command. In the midst of all of the dark moments of the last few months, it was a small triumph.

We’ve also experienced a few small victories in speech and cognition over the last couple of weeks. My dad can’t speak or write yet, but sometimes words (and even phrases) will just pop out randomly. It may not seem like a big deal to those of you who are reading this, but trust me, it is. For four months, it’s been like trying to communicate with someone who is speaking a foreign language. I can’t fully articulate how sweet it is to comprehend even one word. Small victories, indeed.

My family’s journey through hell is full of bad days intermingled with some good ones. I hope that as we move forward, the mix will change, and we’ll see more good days in our future. Each baby step of progress is a victory, and my hope for recovery rests in a continuous series of small victories.

I believe that everything you face in life is supposed to teach you something. Sometimes you have the clarity of mind to understand the lesson you are learning while going through the experience. At other times, you don’t have a clue. I think I’ll look back someday on this situation and understand it more fully, but for now, I’ll just say that it’s taught me to appreciate life (and those who are important in my life) more. Don’t ever take your loved ones for granted:

…Savor each moment with them; it’s special.

…Don’t let the challenges in your life drag you down or tear you apart.

…Life is fleeting; take time to enjoy it.

…Don’t ever forget to tell people you love them; find a way to show them they are special.

Today marks eleven weeks since my father experienced a stroke. The ensuing days have been arduous, trying, and emotional for everyone involved. Each day seems to bring more questions than answers. Doctors and therapists refrain from offering a prognosis for the future. Because every brain responds differently, they simply don’t know “when” or “if” full recovery will occur. I’ve quickly learned that this is one of the most frustrating aspects to having a family member who has suffered a stroke. It’s a day-by-day battle that can stretch for weeks, months, and even years.

My Dad is still paralyzed on his right side and is unable to communicate anything more than a “yes” or “no.” The good news is that he started an intensive outpatient therapy program on June 4th. We’re hoping to see more progress with this program which is designed specifically for people with neurological injuries. He receives therapy five days a week from 9 am - 3 pm and has weekends off.

We had our first family meeting with the new doctors and therapists today. It was our opportunity to hear their initial assessments and ask questions about the therapy he’s receiving. The meeting consisted of a case manager, two physical therapists, occupational therapist, speech therapist, doctor, and psychotherapist. Each one went down the line and gave their report. I wasn’t surprised by any of the information they shared. Much of it we already knew — after all, we’ve been experiencing this for 11 weeks whereas they are just getting to know my Dad.

I did feel that they had a good grasp of his condition, understood his gaps, and had a plan to work on those areas. Was it the information I wanted? No, I want someone to say that they can heal him, and he’ll be fine in a few months. Of course, that never happens. Not that I expect it, but there’s always a small part of me that secretly hopes to hear it anyway. Only the future will tell the full story. I just have to be patient, allow God do His work, and let the therapists do the jobs they are trained to do.

There are some small improvements, though. I guess you would call them baby steps, but like the quote on my blog says, I’m thankful for the little things because one day I may look back and realize they were the big things. Each baby steps brings him closer to regaining what the stroke took away. And for today, that’s enough.