From the Inside Out

Those four words appeared on a poster above the desk of Fox Mulder, a character on the TV show The X-Files. Years later, the slogan became the title of the second feature film based on the popular series.

Four simple words, yet they sum up my feelings today. I may have weak moments and doubts, but I still want to believe. I want to believe that:

• all things work together for good
• there’s a reason for everything
• the “wilderness” period makes you stronger

It’s not easy to believe sometimes, especially when the past experience seems to say otherwise. That’s when faith enters the picture. Faith exists in the absence of proof. It sustains in the midst of the confusion and self-doubt. When answers don’t come freely, faith is still there.

“Are you scared?

MULDER: I know I should be but I’m not.

Do you know why?

MULDER: Because of the voice in my head. It’s telling me no harm will come to her, and that one day she’ll return.

Do you believe the voice?

MULDER: I want to believe.”

The voice in my head tells me to trust. It tells me things will work out exactly the way God has planned them as long as I follow His lead. Career battles, spiritual goals, personal evangelism, family, the future — I may not have all the answers, but that’s okay.

Do I believe the voice?

I want to believe.

The hustle and bustle of life makes it easy to miss out on the beauty around us. We work indoors all day, rush to our cars, battle traffic, get home, eat dinner, and try to relax before doing it all over again the following day. Inside, we fill our homes with modern conveniences designed to make our lives more comfortable — A/C, electricity, entertainment, TV, and the internet to name a few. These modern conveniences are terrific, but they lure us to remain inside. They sometimes prevent us from experiencing what’s beyond the four walls of our homes.

Tonight I was sitting on the couch happily watching TV, perusing the Internet and connecting to my friends online. I was completely oblivious until I went downstairs to let the dogs go to the bathroom. Instantly, I was struck with the beauty of the full moon in the starry night sky. It’s brightness made the nearby clouds glisten like silver. What a beautiful sight! I stepped outside and sat on the diving board for a few minutes to enjoy the picture that God was painting in the sky. The clouds silently moved across the dark canvass creating a living work of art. I felt the cool breeze against my skin, and I listened to the soft sounds of nature. Those few moments were the most peaceful part of my entire day. I was all alone, but as I admired God’s creation, I felt Him draw near. My troubles seemed smaller; my mind was calmed.

It’s funny. We expend a lot of effort and money trying to make ourselves comfortable, yet all we really need is a simple brush with nature and a few moments with God to bring the peace and comfort that our souls crave.

All we have to do is stop “doing”, step outside and admire the free gift He’s given to us. Trust me, it’s worth it.

One of the great things about living in the Internet age is that you can find almost everything you need on the Web — even the Bible. I hate to admit it, but I have a tough time keeping up with my daily Bible readings unless I have a plan to follow. Without a plan, it just becomes a random “open the book and read a chapter” experience. While this “open and point” approach is better than nothing, it doesn’t get me very far in studying God’s word. Plus, I think it’s a good practice to read the entire Bible regularly instead of focusing only on the books I prefer. There are still many lessons to be learned in the drier books — although I do tend to skip over the genealogies. Those names are rough!

Anyway, one of the tools I found to help me stay on top of my reading is at Christianity.com. They have a terrific web site with devotionals, bible study tools, resources, translations and scripture readings. They also have a personal Bible reading plan (i.e. Bible in a Year) that you can start at any time. You simply log in daily and complete the assigned reading. When you’re done, you click the “Finished Reading” button and the “Complete” column shows a checkmark for the selected day’s reading. It’s easy and you can access it from anywhere. I love it when I’m traveling because I don’t have to worry about packing my Bible and damaging it in my suitcase.

If you’re like me and you need a structured plan, check it out. I think it’s much better than the old “Bible in a Year” books and it offers a variety of other resources to complement your daily reading.

Life has a funny way of showing us that we aren’t really in control. You may have the perfect plan, but something unexpected comes along and forces you to change that plan. Whether it’s a job change, a new bundle of “joy”, financial crisis, illness or something else, it seems that the road of life offers many twists and turns.

Some roads lead to exciting new adventures and others offer painful learning experiences. Case in point, a few years ago I would’ve never dreamed that I’d be writing and producing stage plays and comedy shows. On the career front, I never thought I’d be a technology marketing professional (I was originally an art major in college), but things change. Sometimes it’s for the better. Sometimes it’s neither good or bad, it’s just different than what you had planned.

One of the things I’ve realized through the years is that nothing in life is certain, except change. Without it, we can’t grow or mature. Change is not always pleasant, but it’s necessary. What’s important is how you respond to that change. You can let it break you or inspire you to become a better person — to have a second chance, to take a new path in life.

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. King Whitney Jr.

We can’t control life or the changes it brings our way. Change is coming whether we like it or not. The best we can do is be prepared for it, embrace it and be flexible when the unexpected occurs. At the end of the day, it’s all part of God’s plan even though it may not be part of ours.

Why? It’s a question that everyone asks at some point during their lives. I’m not immune. I’ve uttered the question when things occurred in my life that I didn’t understand. There are many things I don’t get about life and why certain things happen (or don’t happen). Sometimes, I receive an answer; other times, I don’t. Sometimes, it takes years to understand why. Sometimes, an explanation never comes.

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached a message that spoke volumes to me. It was about how you don’t have to understand to believe. For example, I don’t understand exactly how planes fly, but I still get in them and trust them to take me safely to my destination. Even though there are many things I don’t understand, I can still trust that God has a divine plan.

At times, I may not certain where I’m going and why I’m going there, but He knows why. It’s the difficult times in life that define a person. It’s easy to follow when things are good, but the true test comes when you don’t understand — when you choose to trust in spite of your doubts, questions, and misgivings.

I may be standing in the dark now, but one day I’ll flip the switch. The light will come on, and the “why” will be revealed.

Until then, I choose to believe.