From the Inside Out

It’s Sunday night and in a few short hours the work week will begin anew. I’m dreading it, but since God didn’t give us a pause button for life, I must face it. I honestly wish we could have more extended weekends and holidays in our lives. There simply aren’t enough fun days.

Speaking of fun days, the weather was perfect this weekend (highs in the 60s & 70s), so we continued training for the MS 150 by getting on our bikes and hitting the trails. I’m slowly increasing the number of miles that I can ride and working on my speed and strength. My progress isn’t as fast as I’d like for it to be, but I’m doing my best. I rode 30 miles on Saturday and averaged 12.5 mph — not impressive, but decent for me. It’ll be interesting to see how far (and how fast) I can go by the end of April. I’m hoping for some major leaps forward by that time.

The forecast for the week is the opposite of the weekend so I’ll definitely be training indoors. A major arctic blast is pushing into the Dallas area from the North. Sleet and snow are predicted for Tuesday, and temps will be below freezing for much of the week. It’s really true what they say, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, just wait. It will change.”

The week ahead will be tough — work is at an all-time stress high, I’m working long hours, and the cold weather will be miserable — but I’m trusting God to help me through it. In the midst of the craziness, I’ll sneak off for a few peaceful moments with Him and the week won’t look so daunting. Maybe, just maybe, He has something special planned for me this week. Maybe I’ll get to share Him with someone in need, maybe I’ll fulfill His plan, or maybe I’ll grow in my relationship with Him. Yeah, maybe this will be a better week. Maybe it won’t be so bad after all. Here’s to a new beginning.

1, 2, 3…let’s go!

Time is precious. It’s limited. You can’t create more, and once it’s gone, you can never get it back. None of us can predict exactly how much time we have left. It’s unknown, truly one of life’s great mysteries.

Most of the time, I take it for granted. I don’t fully comprehend the precious commodity of time. Procrastination isn’t my problem, but I do struggle to maintain a good balance between what I should do versus what I want to do. When I’m tired, I selfishly waste time sitting in front of the television, reading, or browsing online in my communities of interest. It’s a constant battle, and I feel guilty about the things I should have done, but didn’t.

It’s something I’m trying to improve. Much of my time is absorbed by a hefty work schedule. I could work all of the time, and there would still be more work to do. Some of my colleagues work days, nights, and weekends. It’s the down side of working in the high tech industry where there is (1) constant pressure to be the best and (2) technology that enables you to work any time, any where, on any device. I try not to follow the example of my colleagues — well, most of the time. I do try to take time for myself, and those precious hours are the ones that I need to spend more wisely.

I’m not quite there yet. I’m still selfish. I’m still making bad decisions — and sometimes, I’m just plain lazy. But, I’m becoming more aware. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m fighting to become better, to give my time to the things that will truly make a difference. Believe me, it is a fight. Old habits die hard. It won’t happen quickly or easily; it will require a concerted effort, but I am slowly, gradually taking my time back. I’m recognizing how precious, how limited it is, and I don’t want to waste it.

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”

Few things are more exciting than a football game in overtime. Both teams have battled heartily until the end of the designated time period, yet the score remains tied. The players are tired, but remarkably, they still have fight left. Each team wants to be the first to score a touchdown and win the game. It’s exhilarating. It’s exciting. And, it has never happened during the biggest game of the year, the Super Bowl.

The popular pizza chain, Papa John’s, has decided to up the ante this year and make things even more exciting. If the Super Bowl goes into overtime for the first time in history, they will give a free large pizza to everyone in America who has registered on their website as a preferred customer. It’s easy and free. All you have to do is register for their PapaPoints program at PapaJohns.com. As a side note, once you register, you can order your pizzas online and earn points toward additional free pizzas. I am a frequent user and a big fan of their online ordering. I wish more pizza joints and restaurants used a similar take out/delivery ordering system.

Now if the Cowboys were playing in the Super Bowl, I wouldn’t be as interested in the offer. In that case, I would be cheering for a definitive win, not a tie. Since the Cowboys’ performance this year was so measly that we didn’t even make it into the playoffs, I don’t have to worry. I don’t care who wins the game on February 6, so this year, I’ll be cheering for a tie — and hopefully a free pizza.

The cares and responsibilities of life can be draining. As I grow older, the responsibilities seem to loom larger each day. For every thing I try to give up, I immediately replace it with something else. Gone are the carefree days when I sat around complaining about being bored. I almost don’t remember what it feels like to be bored. Something always needs to be done. Another commitment always waits in the wings. Even when I sit down at the end of the day to relax, I’m purposely ignoring something else that should be done.

I honestly thought I was doing a decent job of prioritizing the most important tasks while postponing the things that could be done later. However, I have slowly begun to realize that I am not giving the proper priority to the one who should have top priority in my life. I’m not exactly sure how or when it happened, but the reality is that it did.

I was reading a story recently that Jesus told to a group of people who had gathered to hear him speak. He talked about a farmer who went out to sow his seed. Some of the seed fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Some seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop. The disciples later asked Jesus to explain the meaning behind the story. He told them that the seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and the devil comes and takes the word from their hearts so they may not believe and be saved. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way, they are choked by life’s worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature. The seed on good soil represents those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

It’s not the first time that I’ve read the parable, but this time, the seed that fell among the thorns stood out to me. It was me. As hard as it was to admit, I have let the worries, riches, and pleasures of the world choke my development with God. My alone time with Him has dwindled in recent years as I’ve become busy with other things. I’m not doing anything that you would consider wrong, but I’m not fully immersing myself in His presence either. I’m not keeping up with my commitment to daily prayer, scripture readings, and quality time with God, and that needs to change. I must get back to prioritizing Him above the cares of life, above the time I selfishly spend at the end of the day, and above my other responsibilities.

Our pastors have been speaking recently about taking time each morning and evening to talk to God and read His word. I know it won’t be easy to get back into this daily habit, but I’m determined to do it. I’m sure my flesh will fight me every step of the way, but nothing good comes without a fight. I want to continue to grow in God. I want to “produce a good crop.” None of that comes without sacrifice or discipline.

It’s time to turn off the noise, push the worldly responsibilities to the side for a few minutes, and focus on God. I know I won’t regret it. It will make me stronger. It will help me mature. It will make me less selfish. Everything else can wait. It’s the best thing I can do with my time, and it starts now. I’m tired of being choked.

I flew to San Jose this week for a screen test with TechWise TV (www.techwisetv.com), an online technology show hosted by Cisco. It was an interesting process, and although I hate auditions, I managed to have a bit of fun at this one. I was invited over to the studio to watch a live filming of the show prior to my screen test on Thursday morning. Upon arriving, I met the producer, the hosts, and some of the crew members and interns. I also received a quick tour through the studios, and shortly thereafter, it was time for filming to begin.

I enjoyed getting a behind-the-scenes glimpse at how the magic happens. I also had the opportunity to sit down and chat with one of the current hosts to get a better idea of what’s involved in hosting the show. It’s not just showing up on the day of taping and being the face in front of the camera, there’s also a lot of prep work that goes into each show.

The next morning, I returned to the studio ready to get in front of the camera. After a few instructions from the producer and a brief overview of the style and the tone for the show, I learned that they’d decided to change the plan for the screen test. I had prepared material in advance, but since the hosts of TechWise TV must think on their feet and be ready for anything, they decided to give me a new topic and only five minutes to prepare — nothing like throwing you for a loop right before an audition! I went to a quiet room, jotted down a few quick notes and was ready to go when they called for me.

I walked back into the studio, got settled in front of the camera, received a few additional instructions from the producer, and then it was time to go! The producer called for “quiet” on the set, the camera rolled, and the countdown began. I gave it my all — and tried to remember to have fun in the process. Whatever I did must have worked because I made it to the next step in the process, the teleprompter test.

They loaded a script from a previous show into the teleprompter, gave me a few additional pointers, and then I had time for one run through before the filming began I found the teleprompter material to be fairly easy to deliver — after all, the words are right there in front of you — and so I decided to have fun with it. They want hosts with lots of energy and a natural, fun-loving style, so that’s what I tried to give to them.

Everything seemed to go well. I was getting positive feedback from the producers, and to my delight, I found out afterwards that I’d passed the test. The job was mine if I wanted it! It’s a big commitment, so I have to make sure I can do it in addition to my current job, but I think it’s such a great opportunity. I don’t see how I can say no. So, in the near future, I may be the new host of the Collaboration-related TechWise TV episodes. Pretty cool, huh?

After returning home from San Jose on Thursday night, I immediately began preparing for my next audition at McKinney Repertory Theatre. They are casting now for The Crucible, and my audition was on Saturday. I won’t know whether I’m cast until the end of the month, but there was a tremendous amount of competition for the female roles, so I’m thinking the odds are about 50/50.

So, that’s one audition success and another one pending.

Oh, the busy life of a part-time, “wanna be” actress.