From the Inside Out

They say patience is a virtue. I guess it’s a virtue I need to develop more because I have so little of it. My life is spent trying to be as efficient as possible so I can get more done in a day. It’s a matter of “hurry up and do more” and then more and more — as fast as you can. I have very little time to stop and wait for things to happen. I make things happen. I am impatient.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why it’s so frustrating to watch the stroke recovery process with my Dad. Recovery is not fast. It’s not a simple fix, not something that will be over in a day, a week, or a month. It is long-term and painfully slow. It requires lots of patience.

I would do anything to change our current situation. Oh, how I wish things were different, but it can’t be reversed. That’s something I have to accept now — regardless of how difficult it is. The only thing I can do is look to the future and pray for a full recovery.

Each day I go to the hospital hoping for a small sign, some tiny indication of progress. Some days I get it; on other days, I don’t. I try not to be discouraged. Everything I read about recovery tells me that it takes time. The trusted team of therapists, doctors, and experts reinforce that fact. I’m not looking for a miracle (although one would be nice), but I wish the process was faster. I wish desperately that they could tell us when (and if) things will start working again. They can’t.

The brain must re-learn how to process speech. It has to figure out a new way to control now useless limbs that were once controlled by the area damaged by the stroke. It wasn’t a fast process the first time he learned language and other skills, so it makes sense that it would take a good amount of time now. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. I’m impatient. I want more.

Watching someone you love dearly go through a stroke is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Few things in life are worse. You can’t imagine the pain and the helplessness you feel as a caregiver. It’s frustrating. It’s emotional. And, once again, it requires an enormous amount of patience.

Maybe it’s one of the valuable lessons I’ll learn as I go through this process. When my Dad recovers, maybe he’ll open his eyes to find a more patient, more compassionate daughter at his side. It won’t be easy, but I’ll fight to have patience while he fights to regain his life. I know he can do it and so will I.

With everything that’s happened lately, I haven’t had a chance to blog about my Space Shuttle adventure. It started at 10:30 pm on Sunday, April 5 in the Frontiers of Flight Museum at Love Field.

Everyone met there and had the opportunity to take pictures with Neil Armstrong who traveled along with our tour group. It was an amazing opportunity and a big honor to shake hands with the first man to walk on the moon! I have the framed picture that they gave us proudly displayed in my living room.

We boarded the plane around midnight to travel to Melbourne Florida. It would be a quick, 2.5 hour flight and then we’d shuttle to the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral to watch the Space Shuttle Discovery launch.

On the plane, we received backpacks filled with “goodies” from NASA. The plane was also festively decorated with little green men (behind me on the right) and space shuttles — a cute way to get everyone in the mood for the launch.

We arrived at the VIP viewing area about 20 minutes before launch. They were playing the live radio feed from NASA over the P.A. system so everyone could hear the status of the launch. The clock above was the launch count down, and you could see a close-up view of the space shuttle on the TV screen.

There was much excitement in the air as everyone waited for the launch — scheduled for 6:20 a.m. It would be the last pre-dawn Space Shuttle launch because the shuttle program is scheduled to end this year.

Our location was the closest viewing point for a launch, reserved for VIPs and the astronauts’ friends and family. It was about 2-3 miles away from the launch pad.

The lights shining on the launch pad painted bright rays across the early morning sky, making it a striking focal point for everyone to view. A half moon was the only other light in the sky until the International Space Station came into view and streaked across the sky about 15 minutes before the launch. The entire crowd started to clap and cheer. Discovery would chase this space station, catch up with it, and dock there for its mission. Amazing!

Just a few minutes before launch, everyone stood as a woman sung the national anthem. Then it was time to start counting down…10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1….launch!!

Pictures can’t do it justice, but it lit up the sky like the sun. Amidst cheers, screams, claps and awe, it rose into the sky.

It was so bright that it hurt your eyes when you looked at it too long. Almost looked like a nuclear explosion. It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

A beautiful sight as it thundered and roared into space

In only a few seconds it was leaving our atmosphere and entering space.

I think the picture says it all — wow!

The picture above was what happened when the sun rose and hit the gases and fuel that had been left behind by the space shuttle

After the launch, we traveled to the Kennedy Space Center for breakfast with an astronaut and a tour through the visitor center and museums.

Rock Garden at Kennedy Space Center

Breakfast with Captain Jon McBride

After a few hours at the Kennedy Center, we traveled back to the airport for our trip home. Once in the air, the pilot flew us over the area where the space shuttle launched. We had special permission for the fly over and were able to take pictures from the plane.

The runway on the upper right is where the space shuttle will land

The building where they store the shuttles is at the bottom of the picture and the launch pad is in the middle near where the land meets the ocean. It was a beautiful sight and rare glimpse from the sky.

Here’s our viewing area for the launch

Less than 18 hours after we departed, we were back in Dallas. It was an amazing trip, a once in a lifetime experience. Even though it was hard to go, it was worth every minute of it.

There are three launches left before the program ends. If you have the chance to watch it live, do it! You won’t regret it.

It never fails. Every year I dread this day. The day when I fully realize how much money the government is taking from me to fund programs that I don’t need or want. Back when I used to get refunds, I enjoyed tax day, but those times are long gone. Writing a check to the IRS each year is not fun.

There is a bright spot, however. Many restaurants and retailers are trying to take the bite out of tax day by offering freebies to taypayers. It’s not like winning the lottery, but it helps ease the angst — besides, who doesn’t like getting something for free?

So, what can you get? Check out this sampling of goodies offered at participating locations:

• CINNABON is offering two free bite-sized cupcakes from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. as part of “Tax Day Bites!”
• MAGGIEMOO’S will hand out a free slice of ice cream pizza from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.
• STARBUCKS will give you free brewed coffee all day if you bring in your own mug.
• BOSTON MARKET’s coupon will get you a buy one, get one free deal: http://bit.ly/d1YlRO
• IHOP is marketing to parents by offering free dinner for a child 12 or younger with each adult meal purchased from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.
• MCCORMICK & SCHMICK’S has dinner and drink specials for $10.40 — a clever nod to the 1040 tax form. Bar guests who come in April 15 also receive a $10.40 gift certificate for a later visit.
• P.F. CHANG’S is giving 15 percent off food purchases for dine-in or take-out, excluding alcohol and happy hour food and beverages.
• HYDROMASSAGE will help ease your stress with a free massage –call ahead to book an appointment: http://www.hydromassage.com/taxday.

It happens in a blink. One moment you are living your life, and before you know it, something happens that completely changes it forever. During his sermon on Sunday, my pastor compared it to playing with a familiar children’s toy, the Jack-in-the-Box. You know the game. You turn the crank, enjoy the rhythm of the music, and then all of a sudden, the “Jack” pops out. It’s unexpected and sometimes shocking.

My “Jack-in-the-Box” moment occurred seven days ago. It started as a normal Wednesday. I worked from home in the morning, went into the office in the afternoon, and came home for dinner. After eating, I continued working on the slides for a presentation I was giving the following day. If I remember correctly, it was shortly after 8 pm when I received the phone call. It wasn’t your average call. It was one of those dreaded calls — the one you never want to get.

My father was being rushed to the hospital with a possible stroke. I jumped in the car and rushed to the emergency room. After various scans and tests, the doctors confirmed that it was a stroke, and my mother authorized a course of treatment. I won’t go into all of the gory details about that night. At this time, I’m too emotional to relive those frightening moments, even though they will be forever etched in my memory.

The next seven days seem to blur together — an unsavory cocktail of stress, worry, fear, unstable emotions, and sleepless nights. During that time we had many ups and downs as my father’s condition evolved. The stroke occurred in the left side of his brain affecting his speech and leaving him without the ability to control the right side of his body. He’s always been fiercely independent and strong, so it was incredibly difficult to see what the stroke had stolen from him. Fortunately, many patients recover from this type of a stroke, and we remain hopeful that he will be able to regain these functions after extensive rehab.

Until then, our lives have been interrupted by this “Jack-in-the-Box” moment. We don’t know exactly what the future holds, and that’s frightening. All we know is that it will be a long and frustrating road to recovery.

We’re just now beginning to walk down this path, and my blog posts may be less frequent as I spend as much time as possible with my family. On those days when you come here and don’t see a new blog entry, please take the time you would have spent reading my blog to instead say a short prayer for us. We need as many as we can get right now as we journey through the next seven days and beyond.